Tuesday, October 14, 2008
the tenth day
actually i find it pretty crappy.
spending seven weeks on an island with lots of guys with shiny marble surface head.
marching in some unknown places, getting ur head scalp roasted under the sun.
life is a mystery without computer, communication and entertainment.
i wonder why people like to sign on, unless they always longed for the caveman life.
bukit batok driving centre is another crappy place.
it was unknown to people that maybe since October 1 they introduce the no refund system (explanation for no refund: means u pay them, u wan cancel, they ignore you) for those who cancel test date.
and for that i am going to lose like 150 plus dollars for it, not to say the 42 dollar membership update money and that PDL update for another 15 dollar.
all just because they think: you bunch of craps keep cancelling and booking, making life a hell for us the staff, now we shall not give you the refund,
MUAHAHAHAHA. (devils laughter)arent it crappy, but thats how the world works.months ago i was still sitting in the chair of Maybank, recieving my army letter.
"Oct 24? come on, thats like 6 months from now, what am i going to do in the meantime?"
and now here i am, 10 days from it.
i am under C1 L3 which means i am going to fire guns like a terrorist, but yet able to skip 2 out 5 stations during workout.
actually i had to be honest to myself, i think i am just a person who is highly sensitive, highly imaginative and highly self thought postive.
ever since dont know when, i am not like what i am during sec 4 or maybe poly year one.
i wonder why i now seldom joke, seldom laugh, seldom organize activity and seldom enjoys. yet i am always unhappy, always disappointed, always neglected, always angry and always lonely.
sometimes people ask me to think less, get less grumpy.
but i dont know, i cant find an answer, no one can give me an answer too.
to those who is reading now, what makes you a happy person?
isit getting into club, dancing ur energy away, swallow by the crowd, sunken in the music and getting your head off with the shots where you end up nowhere when u leave the place?
isit having a gathering, speaking your reccent activities, eating delicious platters when everyone in the back grumbles the lost fun, the wallet drilling dinner and yet they wont bother to make an effort of change?
isit an outing where you went lots of places yet you didnt enjoyed in the end of the day, quarreling and pushing around the place deciding role?
isit always searching for someone you want to love but reality you just gets picky with what is available and never happy to share someone what you achieved.
i dont know isit the enviroment we are in that cause us to have such thinkings but i am sure i wan to get the hell out of here. in two years time i think i will be heading to europe or maybe australia to further studies. whether i am coming back is another thing cause i know even when i came back, things are just the same. where i know my friends or even people around me is still the same. i am just unhappy, i want to go for my happiness elsewhere, i am not sure how but i will find out how.
